In this section, we give you
expressions which can be used in negotiations. The expressions are grouped into 6
categories. These categories are built upon a strategy for negotiating that is
neither "hard" nor "soft" but both hard and soft. It is the
method of principled negotiation developed by the Harvard Negotiation Project at
Harvard University. Its goal is to decide issues on their merits and not on the stated
positions of the two sides. It suggests that you look for mutual gains wherever possible,
and that where your interests conflict, you should insist that the result be based on some
fair standards independent of the will of either side.
For detailed information on
this strategy, refer to the book, Getting To Yes: Negotiating An Agreement
Without Giving In by Roger Fisher, William Ury & Bruce
Patton, ISBN
0099248425.
A note on language style:
English speakers, especially Americans, like to express a
certain amount of informality as soon as possible. Therefore, we quickly move to first
names (although this is NOT a sign of intimacy or friendship). In addition, we quickly
begin to use informal language. These facts are intended to signal cooperation among equal
partners.
At the same time that we are moving toward informality in
order to signal a willingness to cooperate, it is important to maintain an atmosphere of
respect. How can we do this when using first names and informal expressions?
We show respect in English in the following ways.
Use would like rather than want when
making requests. It's more indirect and, therefore, is more polite and respectful.
I want to hear you talk about that first point
again.
(This could sound too much like a
demand.)
I would like to hear you talk about that first point again.
(This is safer.)
Use "should", "could", or
"might" to remind or inform people about what to do next. Without such words,
you could sound too much like a teacher or a policeman.
Use phrases like "I think" and
"maybe"
and "perhaps" to introduce suggestions. These words do not indicate uncertainty; they do express
respect for the other person.
It's time to start the meeting now.
(This COULD sound too authoritarian.)
I think we should start the meeting now.
(This is
safer.)
I'll give you some background information about that.
(This is okay if your VOICE sounds helpful.)
Perhaps I could give you some background information about that.
(This is safer.)
Use QUESTIONS to make suggestions. Keep in mind, however,
that you are not asking for permission, but you are showing the other person respect by
giving him or her a chance to disagree or interrupt before you go on.
So, can we go on to the next point now?
So, are we finished with that point? If so, let's go on to the next one.
NOTE: The better you
get to know someone, the less important these strategies become. People who know each
other well (and who respect each other) can be much more direct in saying what they want
and what they think.
