1.  Introducing Other People 2.  Meeting Someone New 3.  Introducing Yourself 4.  Greeting People You Know 5.  Responding To Friendly Questions 6.  Closing A Conversation

In American society, INFORMALITY is valued very highly. This attitude stems from our history. For a long time, the majority of the people in America had either themselves come from somewhere else or were only second or third generation Americans. We were a country of foreigners. Consequently, people were not judged according to the families they were born into but by how hard they worked and how they contributed to the society. In addition, many of the earliest American immigrants had escaped from governments and churches that did not tolerate their kinds of people or ideas. In America, they became enthusiastic defenders of all kinds of freedom. For all of these reasons (and more), the first Americans embraced informality as a basis for communication. Today this is still the basic modal for communicating in American society. We tend to become informal with each other very quickly.

The degree of formality in business varies according to the company culture. Some companies are more conservative and formal in how they address each other, how they share information, how decisions are made, how power is delegated, how people dress, and so on. Other companies . especially the younger, smaller high technology companies . are very progressive and informal.

If you are a foreigner doing business in America for the first time, you do not have to be more informal than you feel comfortable with. If you want to call someone by his or her last name, you may do so. But do not be surprised (or insulted!) if your American hosts call you by your first name. At some point, you will probably decide to do what they are doing. The main thing is that you can go at your own speed.

Another thing to realize is that American business people today may know something about your country (not a lot, perhaps, but something). So they might try to address you in the style of your culture. It could become very interesting, if not amusing.

In the information given below, most of the signals are neutral. That means they can be used in ANY situation . formal or informal. Signals that are informal are indicated with "[informal]". Signals that are formal have been left out because they are seldom used and because the neutral ones can always be used. In a truly formal situation, you can be more formal by using titles (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Dr., Professor, Mr. President, & ) and by adding sir or ma'am (yes, sir / no, sir / yes, ma'am / no, ma'am / thank you, sir / no thank you, ma'am / & ).

When it comes to introducing people in America, NEUTRAL and INFORMAL signals are most commonly used. Formal signals are so rarely needed that most Americans would not know what to do in a truly formal situation! People from other cultures are often surprised at how informal we are in situations that would be more formal in their own cultures.

We will look first at how we introduce other people. Even if you will not have to do this yourself, it is important to know the patterns. For the purpose of explaining the patterns, the person doing the introducing will be "you", and the two people being introduced will be "Mary Smith" and "John Brown".

1.1  NEUTRAL INTRODUCTIONS

Remember, if you learn the neutral form correctly, it should be acceptable in almost any situation . except perhaps for introducing royalty, which should not come up very often!

Think of yourself as addressing only one person at each moment. Picture yourself looking and talking first to one and then the other. First, you are dedicated to giving information about John Brown to Mary Smith. After that, you become dedicated to giving information about Mary Smith to John Brown. Do not try to multiplex the information!

Okay, let' s try it.

1.1.1  ADDRESSING THE FIRST PERSON

What you want to say to Mary Smith can be divided into three parts:

1. Mary Smith's name
2.  Your purpose for coming to her
3. John Brown's name

So what you say to Mary Smith could be:

Normally, you would never address Mary Smith with both of her names. You do so in this situation so that John Brown can hear them. 

1.1.2  ADDRESSING THE SECOND PERSON

What you want to say to John Brown can also be divided into three parts:

1. John Brown's name
2. Mary Smith's name
3. Information about Mary Smith

So what you say to John Brown could be:

At this point it is time for them to greet each other, so whatever information you give about Mary should be very short! After they have spoken their greetings, you can add information about either one of them to help the conversation get going. 

1.1.3  PUTTING BOTH TOGETHER

1.2  INFORMAL INTRODUCTIONS

Informal introductions are more common and much simpler. We will give you a pattern to follow, but you should know that it is almost impossible to make a mistake with informal introductions because there really are no rules! For example, it is no problem to introduce a woman to a man or an older person to a younger person. The reason is that EQUALITY is such a very strong value in American culture the same as informality is.

With informal introductions, it is okay to follow the same pattern as with neutral introductions. However, because it is an informal situation, you should address each person by his or her first name.

With a slightly more informal situation, you can leave out the last names altogether.

And in some extremely informal situations (for example, parties), it is okay to give just the first names!

It cannot get much more informal than that!

When someone introduces you to another person, you have to use a correct greeting. Below are some neutral ones and some informal ones. They are used by BOTH parties. There are no rules about which one to use. The second person can use the same greeting as the first person, or he can use a different one.

*  The signal "how do you do" is not used in America nearly as much as in Great Britain. Please note that it is NOT a question. It is only a greeting which requires a response with any other greeting, including "how do you do"!

**  The phrase "how are you" is normally a greeting for people you already know, not for people to whom you are being introduced for the first time. Nevertheless, many Americans use it this way.

There are several phrases you can use to introduce yourself to a stranger. They differ according to the situation. There is a three-step pattern for these situations also:

Here are two NEUTRAL examples:

Here are two INFORMAL examples:

If you know who the person is but have never met him or her, you can introduce yourself in these ways:

If you must speak to a group of people (for example, to give a speech or a presentation), you may sometimes find it necessary to use the following phrases:

When you greet people whom you already know . even if you have only met them once before . you are expected to show a certain amount of informality toward them.  It would be a mistake to be too formal, because formality with someone you know is interpreted as unfriendliness or a sign that something is wrong.  Informality and friendliness can be shown with a smile, a friendly voice, and some communication signals like the ones below.

4.1   GREETING PEOPLE YOU DON'T KNOW WELL (NEUTRAL)

If you see someone you don. t know very well or with whom you are not very familiar, you can greet them with a neutral signal:

To show more friendliness, you can add a question about the person:

There are any number of informal polite questions, too many to list here.  Just remember that their purpose is to show friendliness.

If someone greets you and follows that with a friendly question about you, you should first answer the question and then return with another friendly question about him or her.  Remember, this is just a way of showing friendliness, which is an important American cultural value. 

The person who asks how are you does not really expect personal details, especially if they are negative. After all, these are simply greetings, not longer conversations. However, if you know the person well enough and if something is really disturbing you, of course you may take the opportunity to give him or her a "headline". If the other person shows interest or sympathy, a longer conversation may happen, either right then or at a more convenient time.

After two people have been introduced --- and when people greet people they know --- they may talk with each other for a while. It could be small talk or it could be a serious conversation. But when it is time to close the conversation, Americans have a particular pattern which they follow. The non-American should be familiar with it.

6.1  SIGNALING THE END OF THE CONVERSATION

Before Americans actually say goodbye, we SIGNAL that the end is coming. And usually we follow that with a REASON why we are ending the conversation.

1. Signaling the end   
2. Giving a reason

Here are some examples:

The other person should now show that he has understood the signal. (It can become very unpleasant when you signal you want to end and the other person ignores it and goes on talking forever.) Here are some typical responses with some explanatory notes.

It was nice to see you (again). **

It was nice seeing you (again). ** 

6.2.3  ANY CONVERSATION

Finally, it is time to say goodbye. But it isn't easy for Americans to say goodbye. We postpone it and avoid it, and when we finally do say it, we say it again and again.

All of the expressions below mean goodbye:  

* "Good night" is what you say to people as you are going to bed, but it also means "goodbye" (in the evening). 
"Good evening" can mean either "hello" or "goodbye" (in the evening).